Ahhh spring is here (sorta) and this season seems to be a time for many people of growth of change! The time maybe for spring cleaning of our homes, our clothes, maybe new jobs, spring break vacations, and even cleaning of our personal lives.....which comes to mind......DATING!
Ah yes. With all the "feel good love" the fam has going on...we are by all means, not a dating organization, but we aren't aliens. Some of us do date, have dated, are married, were married, you get the picture... and maybe we do have some single aliens, but they are cute and normal too! ;) We do discuss relationships and what it means to us...and how so many of us gals/guys get along so well without dating (yes it is actually true!).
So while the month of "love" has passed, I want to take the time to bring up the subject of relationships and dating before "spring fever" hits Baltimore!
So wanna hear my thoughts?! Well, I drew up a very brief but general list of pro's/con's of singlehood as a member of the 'fam!
SINGLE PROS vs. SINGLE CONS
1) cityfam has a lot of space on my calendar. I have the pleasure of going out with women and men and not worry about being nervous, anxious, a "certain way", expectations not being met.... I can have an amazing social life with like minded people without worrying I am missing out on going out. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you are destined to attend lame "singles" events or binge watch Netflix with your dog...you can still go out with fun people of all backgrounds or relationship statuses with #noworries or imminent fear of getting your booty pinched at a nightclub!
2) Not always being "on". Real friends and family love you for who you are- I don't always have to be well rested, have on makeup, or be a size 2 when I took a month off from the gym and have to wear a bigger dress size! It is so nice to be authentically myself and not worry about being made up, high energy or any other image!
3) Independence and freedom. I love the luxury of choosing where, when and what I do and how to do it. Being single and having amazing friends/fam, provides the luxury to really self-explore and become your own best friend. Being completely single has taught me who I really am, and to conquer fears or anxieties on my own. I used to never want to eat alone or think about attending a movie, but now I do practically everything on my own and I love it! And I have discovered so much creativity and individuality I never knew existed!
1) Sometimes it can be lonely. When I am out having fun, and if I don't have all or most of my close friends or fam around, it's natural to want to share that with others and when I go home sometimes I want to jabber on about my day or my thoughts! But on the plus side, I encourage a pet if you don't already have one- the unconditional love and companionship is overwhelming and life changing, in my opinion (PSA.... Dog Rescues are your best option!).
2) Weddings, Valentine's day, and other "couple-ly" things. Well this is an only initial for me, but I understand how sometimes weddings, Valentine's day, baby showers are nostalgic, and some people miss, crave, or get sad about romantic love....but that is also just a way of thinking. I have learned to really enjoy weddings and celebrations of love for others. Romantic or otherwise...isn't love amazing and shouldn't we be HAPPY for those who find it?
3) Dating can suck. GIRL/BOY, let me tell you! I am socially awkward as heck. I get asked out by a male friend/acquaintance and I have no idea if that is a date, or just a friendly meal- and I don't know when to ask about the SCOPE or INTENT because I either sound assumptive or douchy...but seriously I don't want to waste anyone's time or lead anyone on! Ah! Or what's up if you have an amazing connection or date, then NADA....you get meme's for conversation or the daily "HEY HOW ARE YOU?" Bro, I wanna know your passions!
Sometimes my friends and I joke about the singles who can't "handle" being single or as we call them..."thirsty". We originally mean people who serial date via bar hopping or Tinder, but I also wonder...how many are really just thirsty for love? or thirsty for real human connection? Maybe sometimes we often want to date, or date because of just that...we crave real relationships with others and maybe even ourselves!
I challenge you during this spring cleaning or spring "fever"- whichever you can relate to, to clean out some of negative thinking...whether it's doomsville, or thirst....single or taken....clean up the relationships in your life! And maybe the most important one....YOURSELF! I promise you if you take a few minutes to focus on who you are and what you want to achieve, not only will you improve or maybe have some profound discoveries, but you also might attract new friends, relationships, jobs....or if it's relevant....the love of your life!